The Mom Show...

I'm 31 years old. 32, in October.

I lived at home with my parents until I was 28 years old. Met my husband the year I turned 28, moved in the following April, was engaged the following January and Married that November. We've been together for a little over 3 years and we've been married for a year and half.

My husband is my everything and I love him with every fibre of my being.

I have never been pregnant. My body has never experienced the joy of having another living thing growing inside of it.....yet, I am a mother to a 5 year old little boy....who I love just as dear as I would my own (I would imagine!).

It hasn't been easy. My stepson (or rather, as I like to call him...my BonusChild) is an exceptional little boy :).....He's independant, tiddy, intelligent and extremely loving and accepting. He's a joy to be around. We do have our "off" days....usually, when he comes back from his Mom's (as she has access to him every second weekend while he lives with my husband and I full time). It's as though all of the work we put in with him on a daily basis gets rubbed out when he goes over to her place. If he doesn't want to brush his teeth there, he doesn't have to. Nor will he bathe if he so chooses. His meals often include abundances of candy and "fluff". It's a free-for-all and when he comes back home, he's almost uncontrollable. After a couple of days though, he is back to himself and back into routine.

My BonusSon and I have a very full day. We study the Alphabet together, play games, go to the park. He loves to help me bake! I've grown accustomed to playtime (which often includes Spidey, Iron Man and an insane amount of Legos!)....however, I no longer have time for myself.

Don't get me wrong, I love him! I just wasn't prepared for The Mom Show. I skipped all of that natural bonding and went straight into it.

Despite not having any time for myself, I still want one of my own....but then, I feel selfish :(. Selfish because my BonusSon needs so much attention and if I have a baby, that might take away from him.

Also, I'm trying to write a book! Who has the time?! I thought I would. When my husband asked me if I would quite my job to stay home with our boy, I agreed. I figured, this would be my time to finally get that book out of me! Boy, was I wrong.

I'm tired all the time. Cranky and not myself. And to place the cherry atop the cake....my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost a year now and NOTHING. It figures that I would be the only woman in my family who couldn't. I have a doctor's appointment to see what's up next month. My fingers and toes are all crossed on this one.

*sigh*.....

I'm just all over the place and going nowhere fast.

Just another day in the life I guess.